Images of the Author

Here is the author at work, attempting to set a recent post to music. The result was a Concerto for Fnorton and Harp.

The Fnorton is a woodwind instrument about 25 feet long, with a mouthpiece at each end, and the place where the music comes out in the middle. It is played by blowing in one end, then running to then other end and blowing there. Modulating the two blowings creates the resulting tone. Thus, besides musical talent, the performer must possess great foot speed.

The world's foremost fnorton virtuoso, Sir Edmund Falls-Downing, participated in the first public performance of the concerto, with the harpist Edna St. Louis Missouri. The event was pleasing visually as well as musically, as the fnorton occupied most of width of the stage, and the harp was placed perpendicular to it. While Miss Missouri remained calmly seated, Mr. Falls-Downing raced back and forth behind the fnorton.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck during the adagio third movement, when Mr. Falls-Downing turned the wrong way and ran in front of the fnorton, causing him to go right through the harp.

His friends and music lovers may visit him in the hospital, Our Lady of Perpetual Remittance, in rooms 246 through 253.